I Am Not His Savior

She lies she lies –
Tell me you love me.
She smiles she smiles –
Tell me you’re happy.
She cries she cries –
Baby, I’m sorry.
She tries to feel things that were never there
–A well of emotions lying untouched behind her ribs –
But the well is empty, perhaps it was never full;
It cannot save a field of dying crops and it cannot save the man.
She watches him drown before her, arms treading water,
His mouth barely dragging in air.
She has done this to him, but maybe he has done it to himself.
The sand of the shore feels wet and smooth beneath her feet, begging her to come out, to save the dying man.
The water froths violently at her ankles –
She doesn’t know how to swim, doesn’t know how to save him, wishes he had never asked her to.
The moon pushes the tide and the tide pushes her.
She is caught in this war that she never asked to fight –
Her mind wants to give in but her heart remains unmoved in her chest.
The moon pushes the tide and the tide pushes her,
But she is a wall of stone; she will not be moved.
Baby, I’m sorry –
She cries she cries.
Tell me you’re happy –
She frowns she frowns.
Tell me you love me –
She speaks the truth.
She opens her mouth and the tide rushes in, attempting to drown her words.
But when the waves recede, they bring with them the turning of the tide, the setting of their sun.
The man is waiting.
Tell me you love me –

…No.

Cigarettes

She smokes cigarettes and her eyes bleed red.
Sadness sits heavy on her skin like foundation
Mascara runs black down her cheeks like rain
She’s crying tears for a sadness she cannot pronounce
Hands sinking in her pockets while she contemplates madness
One inhale ignites the night
The cigarette isn’t the only thing that’s burning.
She’s burning up the world too.
Dreams go up in the smoke of that cigarette and faith falls to the floor with the ashes.
A single match to light up the world.
Just like it lit up her last cigarette.

Loved You Dangerously

[Verse 1]
Seeing you with him
Oh, it messes me up
Knowing you could do without me
So, I’m the one you gave up

Maybe I’m the fool
I should have known that
If he ever called your name
You’d go running right back

[Pre-Chorus]
I can see it on your face
I can hear it in your words
You’re thinking of his smile
Thinking of his curves
Thinking bout how he heals you
Bout how it never hurts

[Chorus]
But if it never hurts
Is it really real?
Can you get high
Without the pain
Can you be happy
If you’re never sad or lonely
Maybe he’s better for you than me
But baby I loved you dangerously
Baby I loved you with all of me

[Verse 2]
In a city this size
I should never see your face
But I still go to those places
Where they know us by name
And they tell me they’ve seen you
Another man on your arm
Maybe I’m addicted to the pain
Cause it reminds me you’re gone

[Pre-Chorus]
I saw it on your face
I heard it in your words
You were thinking of his smile
Thinking of his curves
Thinking bout how he healed you
Bout how it never hurt

[Chorus]
But if it never hurts
Is it really real?
Can you get high
Without the pain
Can you be happy
If you’re never sad or lonely
Maybe he’s better for you than me
But baby I loved you dangerously
Baby I loved you with all of me

[Verse 3]
Your friends tell me you’re happy
I’m truly glad for that
I could never stand, to see you cry
But it was when I knew you loved me
When there were tears in your eyes

They tell me you don’t cry for him
Makes me wonder why

[Pre-Chorus]
Can he see it on your face?
Can he hear it in your words?
Are you thinking of my smile
Thinking of my curves
Thinking bout how I healed you
After every time it hurt

[Chorus]
Cause if it never hurts
Is it really real?
Can you get high
Without the pain
Can you be happy
If you’re never sad or lonely
Maybe he’s better for you than me
But baby I loved you dangerously
Baby I loved you with all of me