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Sometimes the World Swallows You Whole

November was such a busy month! Changes at work have meant fluctuations in my productivity. No excuses though. This just means I need to work harder.  My graphic designer for my first book also fell through, so the release of my book has been pushed back. I’ve recently found a new graphic designer, and I’m working with them now to create my cover, so I can finally get this sucker published. I can’t put in words how excited I am to share these characters and their journey. They were so wonderful to write, and they’ve brought a smile to my facce time and time again.

Additionally, of course, November meant National Writing Month, so I was buried in my second book. But I finished it! The first rough draft and 50,000 words written in 30 days. It was definitely more of a struggle than my first book. Revisions, when I finally get down to them, are going to be killer, I can already tell. But I’ve been trying to focus on just letting the words come out when I’m writing. No analyzing or overanalyzing. That way leads madness. Of course, this means I’ve been writing all over the place, my notes are a mess, and I’m hopping from scene to scene like a rabbit on drugs, but the words are coming. That’s the important thing.

I just have to keep trucking on. Hard to tell yourself it’ll be worth in when you’re knee-deep in what seems to be the worst thing you’ve ever written, but anyone sharing in that feeling can rest assured it will pass. Euphoria, despair, they’re both short-lived, and they both teach us something. Take any happiness while you can get it and let the despair only fuel you forward. That’s the only way I’m getting through these seemingly endless months. Don’t give up. And remember to make time for your writing! Your stories have  something to say, and it would be the greatest tragedy to let the world swallow them whole.

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Soulmates

Will you let me?
Upon your skin
Tattoo these words
All stuck in my head
With nowhere to go from here,
They kneel and crawl and gasp for
Just a moment more of your ear, please
Promise me your attention so I may bloom
Like a flower gently touched by the rays of the sun
Please do not glare too harshly and burn these petals
Please do not turn your warmth to another and leave me cold
But please, I beg of you, to turn to me with your eyes which see
All of the secrets I could try to keep, but upon my flesh, I paint the truth
For you, I would speak the truth for the first time in my life and could I would I
Etch the truth upon my skin and yours, so the world sees the matching marks and they all know
Once upon a time we were made for each other like twin stars in the night sky
And though eventually my light burned out while yours still glows
For a single night in the history of all the time that has passed
We held hands like lovers that would never let go of
So many treasured memories and moments
Stolen and given like precious jewels
The world will know the marks our
Souls etched upon each other
This is my truth, my beloved
If you will let me I will
Give the soulmark
Of my love.

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A Better Man

[Chorus]
I’m not saying he’s wrong
Not saying you should move on
But you could do with a better man than him
A better man than his friends
A better man than who he is
And who he’s been
You could do with a better man
Than him

[Verse 1]
He’ll tell you that he loves you
But only when you say it first
And he’ll open the door for you
But only when you’re at your worst

He’s got all his friends
And they’re always around
But they all act like you don’t count
And he never says anything
He just laughs along

[Chorus]
I’m not saying he’s wrong
Not saying you should move on
But you could do with a better man than him
A better man than his friends
A better man than who he is
And who he’s been
You could do with a better man
Than him

[Verse 2]
Does he ask about your family?
Does he ask about your friends?
Does he listen to you talking?
Or does he just wait for it to end?

Does he make you feel loved?
Does he make you feel like the one?
Does he give you his all?
Or does he give you what’s left when he’s done?

[Chorus]
I’m not saying he’s wrong
Not saying you should move on
But you could do with a better man than him
A better man than his friends
A better man than who he is
And who he’s been
You could do with a better man
Than him

[Bridge]
The choice is yours
I won’t pretend that I decide
But I heard somewhere that love is compromise
All you ever do is sacrifice
Your happiness for his
Your love is for a man
But he’s still just a kid

[Outro]
I’m saying, saying it, he’s wrong
I’m telling you to move on
Cause you can do with a better man
A better man than him
A better man than his friends
A better man than who he is
And who he’s been
You could do with a better man
Than him

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Another Dead Star

The innocence of childhood is gone
The feeling of its absence—Bereft—
A light not known possessed, now departed—
Another dead star in the sky.
But oh, the memories it brings:
The wish to count all the stars in the sky,
Give them each a name and purpose,
A life to live, a life to fulfill—
The fanciful whimsies of a child,
That spark of vitality that makes possible
All things—everything.
For the stars were not just stars, but planets
Not just planets, but people
Not just people, but angels
Angels that settled in the Milky Way
Dipped their feathers in seas of honey
And etched their mark on oceans of glittering black water.
This was the verve of childhood,
The baby soft savor of innocence
A spirit that shone through black ink
Wrote its mark upon the pages of men,
To be remembered, held, cherished.
For this would be a spirit that dimmed,
Dwarfed by the aging of time
Until, like a star, it was gone.
Smoke from a fire
Risen up to the heavens and joined with the clouds,
Slipping through fingers grasping too loose and tight alike.
Now comes the heavy weight of a tainted ignorance
—Knowledge—
It poisons the well of dreams once held,
Like precious babes,
Now tossed away and given up,
Dreams are traded and bartered away.
What use do they hold for men who wish to grasp the stars?
So they fall, and they do not ring when they hit the ground,
Nor do they cry out when trampled underfoot
The children that once held them so close.
No. The innocence of childhood is gone:
Another dead star in the sky.

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The beauty in the pain …

There is no greater joy and no greater frustration than writing. And creating a world is even more awe-inspiring and incredibly difficult. Like pull my own hair out this is so crazy hard. My current project involves fae and magical worlds alongside our own. It’s challenging in all the best ways, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t days I wish I had never thought of this idea. Of course, I’m kidding! I love my characters, and this world I’m creating with them. Like our own world, it’s complex and detailed and best of all, it never works out like I think it will. That’s one of the best things about writing I think; once you get going, your stories operate just like real life. You think you know where something is going, but then something shifts, your world reveals a secret, your characters catch you off-guard, and you get a little thrill because you didn’t see it coming. And I love that feeling!