Author: admin

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything like this. I’ve found that it’s much easier to bare my soul and my writing through lyrics and poems than it is to talk about myself or what I’m doing. So I’ve been doing a lot of that — writing lyrics and poems. Truthfully, I haven’t had anything prepared to post for the last several weeks, so maybe it’s serendipity or kismet that I take this time to actually write, from my perspective, on this past year.

It’s been a tough year for me in terms of writing. The book I started for National Writing Month last year has been under two rewrites since, with little success. I spent 6 months trying to make my first book perfect before it was published and mostly kept it close to my chest because I thought I could protect myself and my book if I just kept it to myself. Because writing may be hard, but sharing it with the world is infinitely harder, when you know other people will look at your book and point out all the things you could have or should have done. Ideas you’ve already thought of and ideas you kick yourself for not thinking of.

Child of Magick was released on Amazon with little fanfare, and to be honest, it didn’t feel quite like I imagined. There was no huge weight or pressure lifted, and only a small community of people were even interested in it. I need to do a better job of promoting if I’m going to be doing this self-publishing route. But I will say there was something about seeing my name printed, something about seeing my book formatted like so many of the ebooks I’ve read myself, that sent a tingle through my fingers and put a smile on my face. It reminded me why I love writing in the first place, being able to create worlds and stories and characters. To bring into existence something that wasn’t here before.

Child of Magick and its protagonist Zara had no planning, no major storyline drafted out when I first started writing, but I quickly fell in love with the world and her. A kick-ass girl willing to do anything for family and not willing to take anything from anyone’s. Zara was a joy to write, but as I continue on, I’m coming to realize that not all of my characters can be like that.

Writing is hard. I don’t think people say it enough. There are days I want nothing more than to curl up and forget writing, forget every idea in my head because they never measure up to how I picture it in my head. Sometimes the words fail my imagination. Or maybe I fail my imagination. But I read something that really blew me away, a comment on tumblr that essentially pointed out the reason I’m always so disappointed in my own work is because I have a certain image in my head, and when it comes out not exactly like I envisioned, I feel the wind just go right out of me. I’m comparing myself to the perfection I’ve created in my head, but nothing is ever perfect. I can only try to do the best I can.

So that’s what I’m going to do in 2019. I’m going to do the best I can with each and every one of my characters and their stories. They may not be perfect, but each one of my characters has a story to tell, and it breaks my heart when I think of giving up on them just because they aren’t perfect. Humans aren’t perfect, the world isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect. So they don’t have to be either.

I’m scared of what this new year might bring. But I’m also excitement to see what comes next. Hopefully lots more writing and lots more stories and adventures await. Happy New Year everyone! And best of luck for all our new endeavors.